Author: Barrowsgate
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Serjint Peter Parrysheeter
Peter Birley’s musket was out of action so Jeck the joiner made him one out of wood, so he could practice his bayonet drills with it. As Peter lunged at him, Jeck fell to the ground and Peter thought he had killed him but the only casualty was Jeck’s medicinal bottle of Glentakit whisky.
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An Ee tae Bizness
Jeck the joiner organises burials and, on the way home after one such occasion, he is chatting to one of the mourners, who reveals that he is ninety-two years old. Jeck replies that, at that age, it’s hardly worth his while going home.
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If its Home-Fed Meat – Chaw Weel
“Asking for a friend”, Barrowsgate would be grateful to receive any parts of a waistcoat that readers might come across when eating their Sunday roast. The friend’s wife had shredded it up with the food for the bull.
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Military Drill at the Mains
Barrowsgate deals with more fallout from his column accusing some people of lacking faith in the British war effort. Barrowsgate thinks that his neighbours seem to have got the message, and patriotism has resurged in the local defence force, particularly “Mains”, its sergeant instructor. Barrowsgate observes one of their parade drills.
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In Reply
Barrowsgate answers those readers who doubt whether the Allies will win the war and he decries those who are profiting from it.
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My Day Aff
Barrowsgate takes a bus ride into town on his day off, and overhears some interesting conversations.
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Tribble Wi’ a Capital “T”
Barrowsgate is thrown out of his own house after writing about his recent barbering experiences at the hands of his wife, and Sandy Fitey. To add insult to injury, Mistress Barrowsgate offers to make Sandy some boiled eggs for his tea.
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A Hair Raisin’ Eppysode
Mistress Barrowsgate wasn’t impressed with Fitey’s barbering so she pushes him aside and goes at Barrowsgate with the clippers.
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“Barber” Uproots my “Thatch”
Young Fitey comes to borrow some eggs and Mistress Barrowsgate persuades him to cut Barrowsgate’s hair with some clippers.
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Bonnie Jean
Barrowsgate asks his readers if anyone can identify the author of the words to the song “Bonnie Jean”. Note: This is Barrowsgate being tongue-in-cheek as it is a well-known song by Robert Burns.