Category: Bitties Fae Barrowsgate
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Burns Abroad
With Burns night (25th January) approaching, Barrowsgate wonders whether the Scots fully appreciate just how influencial and loved he is the world over. He ends with his own verse of appreciation, “Nane Ither”. Places mentioned in the article (which Barrowsgate had apparently visited) are the Chilcoot Trail in British Columbia, San Francisco and Visalia in…
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The Milk Pool
Barrowsgate’s dairy cows are unhappy. Peter, the young bullock, explains that this is because the dairy farmer only gets a fraction of the cost of a pint of milk to the consumer. The cows blame the Milk Pool for setting the price that the farmer gets at too low a value, undermining the long-term viability…
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Indigestion
Barrowsgate notices that, apart from having indigestion, at this time of post-Hogmanay excess, people’s noses tend to betray them by taking on a range of red and purple colours.
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Hogmanay
In his last column of 1933, Barrowsgate reminisces about Hogmanays past, and how he often ended up having eaten too much, and his mother would have to administer castor oil. His column ends with a Hogmanay toast.
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Murder!
In his last column before Christmas 1933, Barrowsgate draws our attention to the murder that is carried on, up and down the land, at this time. He is talking about the murder of turkeys and hens for the dinner table.
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Economy – A Savin’ Disgrace
Barrowsgate thinks that “economy” is just another word for greed, and cites the example of a Mayor of London who used to make his tobacco go a long way by first chewing it, then smoking it, and then smoking the ash.
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Barberin’
Barrowsgate reads that some Aberdeen barbers are asking for legislation that would put them on the same footing as, for example, surgeons. Barrowsgate agrees that perhaps the fees should correspond to the suffering caused, and recalls a friend of his very nearly being scalped by one barber.
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Speirin b’ Spasms
Jean, the kitchen maid comes into the milking parlour and strikes up an amorous conversation with Chairlie the farmhand. They leave, arm in arm, and Barrowsgate sees a wedding on the horizon …
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Baillies and Gentlemen
Barrowsgate explains what it means to be a baillie or gentleman and the subtle differences between them. For context, a bailie or baillie was a civic officer in the local government of Scotland and was a post similar to that of an alderman or magistrate. Note: This article appeared again in the “Observations of Jeems”…
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The Loch Ness Monster
Barrowsgate applauds the inventiveness of the Inverness publicity department in coming up with the idea of the Loch Ness Monster, to prolong the tourist season. He isn’t so sure about the local publican who offers a special 50% alcohol, “DT’s guaranteed” whisky blend that will allow you to see two monsters and other reptiles in…