Category: Verse
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Aunty Barry’s Dream
Aunty Barry fills the church with people eager to hear her play the organ. But it was all just a dream.
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Multum In Parvo
Two farmers meet at an auction and, in a terse exchange, discuss what they are planning to buy
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The Auld Folks’ Piggie
An elderly couple buy a pig and dote on him, naming him Sandy Campbell, even letting him come into the kitchen. Eventually, he meets his end and his name is changed to Pork.
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“Golochs”
Barrowsgate recalls a time serving in Egypt in 1915 when the locals sang a song about scarab beetles, which they regarded as sacred. He responds with his own opinion of them, in verse.
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“Ile”
Hilly’s car (Auld Lizzie) isn’t running well and he asks his wife if she has any Castrol oil for Auld Lizzie. She confuses this with castor oil and says she’s run out of that but has some Seidlitz Powder (a laxative), if that would be any good.
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“The Debate”
Which is the better animal – the horse or the cow? A countryside debate. Barrowsgate slips out before the end in case he is asked for a donation.