Tag: Humour
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The Cure-A’
Hypchondriac Tibbie swore by her many “Cure-alls” but, feeling ill, she called out the Doctor. Before he arrived, another box of potions arrived so she sent the Doctor away. The Doctor tells her that she might as well throw the rest of her potions in the fire.
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“Seein’s Believin’”
An old lady living in the remote countryside goes to visit her daughter in Aboyne and is terrified when she sees a steam train in a tunnel, thinking it is the Devil.
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Henner’s En’
Henner tries to save money by not feeding his chickens properly but the hens plot their revenge…
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“Peter’s Wife’s Mither”
Strathbogie had to go to London on “cow business” and on Sunday morning went to the local church but the parson was ill and the young “stand-in” was hopeless. Disgusted, Strathbogie went to another church that evening and it was the same substitute preacher. On his train home to Scotland, guess who turned up in…
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The Gweed Samaritan
Dauvit likes a drink and helps a friend bury his wife (whom he had killed) with a toast of Glentackit, offering her skull a dram (from the closed bottle)
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“Saut”
A pig dies so the farmer gets his young farm-hand to brine it and they all eat pork for a while. The same happens to his cow but when the farmer’s wife dies, the farm-hand draws the line at brining and eating her
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A Helpin’ Han
A pedlar hangs himself and a passing poacher leaves him hanging in the tree because he wasn’t dead yet.
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Twice Wintin’
Les, the new landlord of the Cleekim Inn doesn’t offer credit. One day, a customer asks for a gill of whisky and throws some coins on the bar. Before Les can count it, the customer downs the whisky and tries to leave. Les stops him and says “you’re short” but the customer says “it’s not…
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“Fyles”
Sandy has had a bit too much to drink and meets the parson, who asks if he’s on his way home. Sandy replies “Fyles” (i.e. sometimes). Barrowsgate provided an English translation for this one. Note: This was first published in the Bon Accord on 01 May 1931 and appears to be Barrowsgate’s first published work.…